Rantette of the day is over the boots ads with the slogan  'losing weight is the best thing I've ever done', and here is why. Many reasons, see fbk, but quite apart frommy own personal gnarghhh,  here's a few:
( cur for possible ED/food triggerage )

 

 

( Orhan Pamuk- the Museumof Innocence. Note thetact with which i did *not* spend the whle review ranting about how unlikeable the main character is... )

 

( Leanne Shapton -Important Artifacts. I am evangelistic about this novel. )

 

( Edmund White - City Boy. Includes dirty jokes about my sexual predelictions and attempts to say 'it's all about sex, really, read it for the blow jobs!' subtly. )

So yeah, this Lady Gaga thing. I'm a little bit obsessed. A lot of this is to do with my personl headspace - she articultes perfectly the unashamedly driven and assertive elements of my sexuality whose expression i have to be very careful of IRL atm. But quite apart from the fact that despite representing a musical genre i'd usually hate i find her work insanely catchy,  ideologically i think she does a hell of a lot of good and important things for me and for feminine sexuality as a whole. Think about it. Yes, she's unashamedly sexual, but her songs are unashamedly and unapologetically about *her* desires and needs. In a world and a muical genre where female singers as sexualised as she are usually playing on the basic message 'look what i want to do for you,look how hot I am' her songs are all 'what can you offer me, this is what i want.'  'Show me your teeth', 'i like it rough', 'i'm a free bitch, baby'. And she has equally assertive and catchy songs about *not* wanting sex, or sexual contact, and not being objectified: 'i'm not your babe...don'twanna kiss, don't wanna touch,just smoke my cigarette and hurt...'
She's like the feminocentric equivalent of cockrock: those wonderful driving, rolling bass beats combined with the bright, defiant power of the keyboard/synth riffs. And it matters. It matter that not every song about women wanting sex keys into the objectification of women or their essential function as the servicers or recipients of male desire. It matter that there's music out there that says 'yes, i want it, and i want it onmy terms, are you good enough?' ('i don't want no paper gangsta, got the flavour and no followthrough' ' i want somebody just as bright, as fabulous...') instead of 'look at me, don't you want me?' It matters that she writes her own songs, ater having built a career writing other people's, and desins her own iconography (and as i'mlooking forward to steerpikelet discussing, she is a paraody of celebrity culture.) It matters that she's openly bi and kinky because she's a 'free sexual woman' and defiantly in control of her own sexuality, even (especially) when it involves submission, or s&m. It matters that she's confident about her own appeal (i'll get him hot, show him what i've got') but understands not being ('she loves to dance in the dark, cos when he' slooking she falls apar' - will attach interview link here later when i've got time, she's beautifully perceptive about it.) It matters thatdespite all this he's popular and respected by both men and women. Hell, the lady just RULES. Again, steerpikelet pointed out a rcaefail image that i can't find on a quick image search, so she might not be perfect - but for me, right now, she articulates a confidence in female sexuality, in *my* sexuality, that' very valuable indeed.

... and the evidence is on youtube here. eriously, anyone with an iphone, buy the application- it's only about 60p and it is the COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN. it *actually does* all the stuff in the ad, and to this day can keep the goblin happily amused for hours. And i can't act and look crap in the ad and am *still* sufficiently convinced of its genius to share witrh you all. Be impressed... :oP

Boy and I are breaking up, indefinitely but with nothing ruled out. We still love each other, and good friends is definitely the plan, but he's really not in a mental place where he can handle being in a relationship atm, so it seemed the best thing.

Just wanted you to know. C/s, obv, say if you don't want them unscreened.

Dear Sasha,

I wonder if you would be interested in reviewing Blood Royal by Vanora Bennett (Harper Collins), a novel based on the life of Catherine de Valois? I would want a piece of 500-600 words by say June 11 and could send you the book straight away. Let me know what you think.

with best wishes

(TLS literary editor)

FUCK ME. EEEEEEEEE......

...all that and i'm a superlative hand with a root vegetable, too....*